Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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