I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Acid is not a monday night drug
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
