Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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