please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize