i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can vaginas get frostbite?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
