stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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