So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
