The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
