By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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