So drunk its hurt
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize