I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
