Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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