should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
