Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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