I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
