somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
