Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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