And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
