so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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