I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
