Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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