did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
