How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize