how can u be prego again
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
