Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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