and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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