the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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