Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There r osticjed everywhere
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
