Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
