I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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