I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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