This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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