he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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