its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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