I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
