i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can text with my tongue
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
