Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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