Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
