It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
