That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
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How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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