She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want to make out with him forever
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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