Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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