some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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