This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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