Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
