I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he puts the penis in happiness.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
