Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize