Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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