dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We talked him into tasing himself.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
