I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
