The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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