that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
