oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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