Me too!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize