Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
