his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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