just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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