fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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