Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize