There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
