people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
