Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
