Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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