How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize