my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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